Wednesday, July 27, 2011

THIS is why.....

Tomorrow will be a life changing day for baby Joseph in HangZhou.
It will be the day he is given a new lease on life.

Joseph's mother won't be there....she won't know he is about to be healed of his congenital heart disease.
But I know a few things about her--
She is selfless and she loved him very much.

This is why one day last Spring she gathered up a few items and took her son in a taxi.  She told the taxi driver where to go.  Did he know what was going to happen?  We'll never know in those last moments with her baby boy what she was thinking. 
But I know this about her...
She was selfless and she loved him very much.

Joseph's mother ran out of the taxi and put her son on the steps of a private foster home in China.
She ran back to the taxi and was gone in an instant.  What was she thinking as she saw her son for the last time?  What was going through her head and how would she ever be able to live without him.
BECAUSE...she was self less and loved him very much.

Joseph was loved by his mother but she did what she knew was best for him.  She gave him life by placing him at this doorstep.  She must have known he was sick.  She must have known she could not help him.  So, she did the only thing she knew would help him----gave him away.
BECAUSE....she loved him very much.

Joseph is an orphan who will have very serious heart surgery tomorrow....please pray for him.
God loves him very much.

My opinion about adopting two at once----(FWIW)

This is the answer I typed back when a lady asked---
Hi all,
I have been told by several sw that adopting two or more unrelated children at the same time increases the possibility of disruption. Just wondering if any of you have seen this as a possibility or a fact, because it happened, either by experience or by witnessing it or by stories you have read or seen. Also wondering the opposite, how has it been in families where two or more are adopted and it does not end in disruption. I would love to hear stories. I need some good input for this.
My family has adopted two and is in the process of adopting two.
First off---I do not agree with the SW statement that adopting two unrelated kids ends more often in disruption.... I think that is a VERY general statement.

However--- adopting two brings about a whole bunch of issues.
There are alot of factors--

do you have any other kids already....and their ages?

do either/both of the kids you're adopting have special needs?

the ages of the children you are adopting---similar age or big gap in years?

Have you adopted before?

Have you done your "homework" on adoption and attachment?


My cases are different---

Our adoption in March 2010 was for two older with special needs and the other "aging out and healthy"  We found our 11 yr old daughter first - she has arthrogryposis very severe- she will probably never live independently. At that time, CHina was not "open" for two but I had heard of a few cases. We asked our agency (LIFELINE) if there were any other children from her we thought there would be a greater chance of CCAA saying yes. They had a 2 yr old with heart disease. I just thought it would be very hard bringing two children home with such a vast age difference---I feared the older one would not get the attention she deserved because the 2 yr old would be "needier" emotionally. (MY opinion--not so for other families)

We told the agency we would just continue for our daughter. The next day, the agency sent us an e-mail of a file---"that had just come across their desk and CCAA asked them to place". They needed to process quickly and needed an experienced family. Would we consider her? We knew in an instant that God had sent this file to us.  We proceeded and processed from DTC to gotcha day in less than 2 months.

Both girls are doing great and their transition has be very very good....they were both scared stiff at gotcha day but HAD EACH OTHER. This is where I find that adopting two is helpful....they have each other to chat with--to tell their worries, fears, and has been great.

Now, we are adopting two younger boys---ages 3 and 5...they both have special needs but we have a large family and we are used to these issues. It is the first time we are adopting a child with a known cognitive issue as our 5 yr old has Down Syndrome. We are reading up and learning lots about DS.

I think the best advice I can give is to become educated about attachment and be ready for some rough waters....even if you "only" adopt one child.

I have heard it explained this way---

When you adopt a child and bring them into your family it ia like a mobile over a baby's crib. When the child comes into your family, its like someone bumped the mobile and it is unsteady and rocking out of balance.....but, with time, the mobile settles and begins revolving smoothly.
I agree with this. Sometimes the balance is off for months and months...sometimes its smooth all the way.

Pray about the decision.....follow your heart and I encourage you to fight for what you believe is right for your family. Sometimes the best things is life are the things you have to fight hardest to get.